Playing Dress Up

I get to play dressup for the lecture with Lech Walesa tomorrow. This has become a little mini nightmare in itself. I quit smoking in August and nicotine is a hunger suppressor. And well I have gained some weigh. I for one don't really care it just bothers me that none of my clothes fit anymore which sucks. I feel like since having kids my shape will never be what it was and who cares? But I was told to 'dress up' for this lecture and well all my clothes are TOO SMALL...and I made the mistake of trying to jump myself into a skirt in front of my son. He tried really hard not to laugh, but it came out and my feelings are hurt. Let the Anorexia begin. It is funny I eat healthy and usually will only eat once a day and smaller snacks (veggies and stuff) throughout the day but I am addicted to POP and that is what is causing this 'problem' of mine. I wish I could just step into a machine press a button and *poof* be magically delicisous. OH I plum forgot. I did my GPA which was a 3.2 and was told by my advisor that it wasn't good 'enough'. I about lost my cork. I am running my family and taking care of 2 kids I live 40 miles from campus and I have 6 fucking classes HARD classes not underwater basket weaving. And this broad says it isn't good 'enough' BITE ME!!!

Oh What a Wonderful life......lol

For some reason on this laptop I can't download pictures to this blog. WEIRD!! So my advisor was asking what my GPA is and I didn't know so I asked an instructor, Lee and he gave me this nifty graph type worksheet to figure it out and I am like totally ecstatic...I am getting a 3.2. Not my highest for learning (I graduated HS with a 3.6 (I think)) SO today I felt really proud for the first time in a long time. It was a good feeling if only it could last longer than a few moments. I went to get myself and the kids haircuts....YIKES, the chick gave me a MULLET...WTF...I guess medium size layers translates into MULLET up here in the boon docks. Both the kids look great though, so I guess things even themselves out! I can count on 2 hands how many days are left in this semester for me WOWZA.....I am really excited about that!! I am kind of getting bored with the courses that I have currently and am looking forward to the change in venue! Cheerio....

WELL WELL WELL

Well my puter magically blew up on Friday and NO ONE in this household will fess up to it. TO make a long story short I had to buy a new one. Well to make an even longer story shorter I couldn't afford a "new" one so I opted for plan b...pawn america. That place rocks. So I get a presario born in 7/05 for $500. Not bad. My momma bear paid for half for an early Christmas present so I had to come up with the rest. NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO TOUCH THIS BUT ME,MYSELF AND I.
I am surrounded by idiots I swear. Also I can't get to my email...Nich that is why no mail from moi...can't get into it until Monday(I hope)...haven't started my papers...yes I said papers and not singular. multiple....sigh...2 more weeks....YIPPEE fucking skippy....Steve's mother said to him that I don't deserve to be in college...FUCKING...bleep bleep bleep bleeep bllleeeeeeppppp...this woman (if that is what you could call her) is a...crap I don't even think there is a word for her. Lets not go there I don't have enough time to get into it....have a nice remainder of a weekend....see ewes really soon!!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

Oh give thanks unto the Lord for he is good, and his mercy endures forever...Amen

Happy day before Thanksgiving

Well boys and girls I have a presentation today. ICK. I really don't do well public speaking. I can do it, I just don't like it and then I start to ramble because I am nervous, and then well I probably make an ass outta myself. Today's topic was to be a book that you liked or could relate to. My subject is extremely controversial and I have to explain it to a bunch of 18 year olds that giggle when you say penis in a sentence. I picked this subject because My son was born with a major deformation in his genitials and basically he can pee, there isn't anything there. It has become a major issue around our home because he is due for another surgery at the Mayo and my son is scared shitless. He has had 5 already to try and fix it but to no avail. The doctors say he probably won't ever have kids and very unlikely to ever experience a woody. Why am I telling you all this? I don't know. Isn't it amazing how you can look at someone and just "don't know a damn thing about that person"? I am having one of my mornings and I was just thinking have good I have it. My son on the other hand got the short end of that stick. I left his dad because he blamed me for the problem with the genitals. saying it was my fault, and for a short time I actually believed that. Anyways to make a long story short this book I picked was a true story about a freak accident at a hospital and the parents opted to give their son a transgendered operation because at the time the Mayo Hospital didn't have the technology or knowledge or foresight to be able to help this family. And they turned their boy into a girl and this story was just heart breaking. Well I was faced with the same dilemma. The doctors told me it would have been 'easier' (easier for who I wondered at the time) to make my son into a girl and give him hormones for the rest of his life. But I just couldn't do it. This book was one of the reasons why. Playing god with someone else's life is really a terrible experience. I don't recommend it!! Well I am off to campus to talk about something dear to me and I feel sick...Have a nice day

Normally My Day Off

Tuesdays are normally my day off, but due to my grades in Anthropology if I forfeit some of my time for service learning then I can get extra credit. And since it is a numbers game with my grade I opted to do the time. So here I am at the wonderful campus library, trying to do some research on my ethnics paper. I am doing my paper on shamanism in North America. How interesting does that sound? A little dreary today...I think the weather emulates peoples moods...Yesterday I did finish my presentation prep work and an different assignment I had on 'eavesdropping'. If I get this Ethnics paper done over Thanksgiving I will be over joyed. I have another paper due tomorrow by 3 but in order for me to do the paper I have to meet with my advisor and she is seeing me at noon. I procrastinated just a little bit on this one and it came back to haunt me. So when I needed the appointment she couldn't get me in until the last minute. I really should know better by now not to leave things until the last minute!! Next week I get to sign up for Spring semester...which means I AM ALMOST DONE...and frankly I am surprised I made it this far!!! Peace out...

I did Forget...

Okay fellow bloggers, I can't believe that I forgot to mention this.......and I am super super excited. TO much is going on that must be the reason. I had to pick up my test for my Intro to Law Enforcement Class on Friday and my instructor told me to pick it up at his office after class, so I go there and here he invited me (along with 2 others) to go see a lecture featuring the former president of Poland, Lech Walesa. I am soooooooooooooo excited. I know that I sound like an idiot most days here, but I am fairly intelligent and really enjoy the more intellectual side of things...go figure. This lecture is by invite only people..........WOOOOHOOOO. And for those of ewes whom don't know who this guy is....he helped liberate Poland from communist regime. He was also awarded a Nobel Peace Prize...Have I said how excited I am yet?

Almost Forgot...

Took my kiddies to Harry Potter yesterday...And it was excellent...Yes I am coming out of the closet... I LOVE HARRY POTTER...sigh...I have even read the latest book and know who they killed off...Call me a dork...I loved the books and loved seeing them in film too...

Karma

I am a firm believer in what goes around comes around. Why? because when ever I do something stupid, where I definitely know better, well it seems to come back and bite me in the ass later. One time (this did happen) this guy was standing in front of me in line at the store he dropped some money (I think a twenty) on the ground. Being 16 I was broke so I pretended that I didn't see it drop and pocketed the cash. That very next week I lost a paycheck for $80 and the company wouldn't reimburse me for it...Karma...I have other examples but from when I was younger, I have learned that If I do something bad, something bad usually happens to me. So I tend to walk the straight and narrow!!
So something funky happened to me yesterday while I was at the laundry mat. I am not sure if I have stated that kids love me...I don't know why I am not particularly fond of children, but when ever I am out they seem to hone in on me and I don't know why. So my daughter and I are at this laundry mat and there are 2 little girls that invited my daughter and I to color with them. We sat down and I asked everyone their names and Tiatianna was the first to introduce her little self, then myself, then my daughter and then Karma...yes boys and girls I finally met Karma in the shape of a 5 year old blonde haired blue eye little cupid. So being that I am a "sign" person I know this is one, I just haven't figured out what yet.
Okay I am going to tell about a dream that I had the other night (and then I will shut up and go to class) and if there is a dream interpreter out there then HELP...Usually when I am stressed out (which I am) I start to have messed up dreams, that is why I am sharing cuz this is messed up...I am walking and I come across a whole assortment of dead pigs and in my dream I am thinking to myself "this is weird" and they are all shapes and sizes and in different stages of decay and they smell really bad and tons of flies...so I continue walking and I come to this 'water hole' and there is a huge moose at one end stuck in the mud, dead. and in the dream I know that this is the reason the pigs are dead because they drank the water with the dead moose in it. So the next thing I know my kids are swimming in the 'pool' and I am freaking out...and they are telling me the water is fine and I am telling them that no it isn't and then I am so upset I wake myself up....I use to love to go to sleep, but my dreams are getting really messed up!! Adios Amigos

The Story of My Life...

Well I traded in my 6 month old washer and dryer set for a new stove 2 weeks ago and tonite my washer (the washer that was here in this house when we moved in, lady told me "they work great!!") went out. Lord have mercy. I swear when it rains in my world it effing pours until I almost drown in it. What are the odds? Flat tire, broken spin cycle, doggie getting black mud all over my brand new carpet, new broom breaking, cord detaching from rear defogger on car, kid breaking nose, other kid getting sick, husband being a dink, there's more believe you me, but I feel like I am whining and need to stop...all in one week...now I know why somebody came up with that Calghoun take me away slogan...anyways I finished one paper tonite only have 5 more to go in the next week and half...I have to write a memoir too, but I am having a hard time choosing one episode in my life to write about (there are just so many) what is a girl to do? Maybe someday I will write a book...Anywho I am tired and I have to get up to listen to my daughter sing in church tomorrow, early...so goodnite and sleep tight!

Signs, Symbols and Omens

...So last night my husband and I and our 7 year old daughter are driving in the old jalopy "ol' blue" and his tire BLOWS out. And we are on this little stretch of road from 5pm to 8pm and not one fricken car stopped...4 stopped looked then turned around and kept going. WHAT IN THE HELL?? I know it was 5 degrees and I know it was dark but give me an effin break...frickin people and I can almost guarantee that these people that drove right by us thinking "poor bastard" are the same ones sittin in church ohhhhing and ahhhhing about how fucken great they are and that they are good people and yada yada yada. I think I am more mad at my husband than anyone because apparently the tire had a slow leak (what the hell?) and he just didn't think it would do that...Great time to test that effed up theory. But then I see him laying on the cold ground for over an hour at a time (cuz the tire had corroded on the axle) and then a person wonders why I am so effed up!! So yes I believe in signs and yes I believe in omens and yesterday was a sign that I needed to stay in bed and put ear plugs in! I have class so gotta run have a great Friday..............

Forgot to Mention

I must be like a marathon runner...I go really strong in the beginning but then lag my ass at the finish line...I am getting petered out with the school thing. I have oh about 6 papers to write up in the next 2 weeks and I am not looking forward to it AT ALL...also 2 presentations (which I hate) yeah speaking in public isn't my thing. And imagining people naked well that doesn't do anything for me either so really doesn't work...Next semester am taking classes closer to home, the driving sucks with the gas prices so am hoping only have to go to campus once or twice a week next semester! that would be stupendous! Anyways that is the scoop on my college education but hell when this semester is done I will know how to write a paper and basically where humans come from (monkey boy) and um the history of racism in America and how to watch a film and what "fruit of the poisonous tree" really means and now I am set for the real world dammit I am a WINNER....

This is SO Me

If I were sculpture I couldn't do a piece of art better then this! aaaahhhhhhh the beauty of art is always in the eye of the beholder... I have some weird thing

too when it comes to eyes I dunno why, they

freak me out in a way but not too...I have a big

eye tattooed on my shoulder (well it wasn't suppose

to be that originally but later got re-constructed into

that) So I can literally freak my kiddies out and they

say how can you see that...and I tell them I have an extra

eye on my back. Crappy story bout that tattoo is when I turned 18 I just HAD TO HAVE one...like an STD...so my

brilliant friend and I went to this no-name tattoo guy and he says we can have these monster tats for like 50 dollars and that was super cheap but being young and dumb I can't realized that cheap isn't always a good thing. SO we go and order up our tattoos and my friend goes first and hers looks like shit but I am thinking if she can do it I can do it. Well when she is done it is my turn and I am telling you it was the worse pain in my entire life literally worse than childbirth. Apparently (what I found out later) you aren't suppose to tattoo on sunburn which I had and you can actually go too deep...which he did so now it is raised even after 13 years (scar tissue) and he ruined it beyond compare. SO I had to pay a 'professional' another $400 to fix it and cover up most of it. thus turning my tattoo into a freaky eyeball MASTERPIECE...needless to say the first tattoo guy gave a minor Hep C and was closed down...thank the lord! Anywho how in the world did I get on hating winter to my tattoo story? Talk about a segway....

if your so inclined

youre the midnight fariy
always gazing at the stars wondering how the world
can be made better


What kind of fairy are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Faery

I love Faery's...when I was little they were called Fairy's but alas due to some ignorant people I can't say fairy unless I am labeling a specific group (which I AM NOT!!!). Growing up in an abusive home I suppose a kid is more liable to find some "make-believe" thing appear real than what the kid actually sees every day. SO for me it was the mystical. I loved unicorns and faery's. Now that I am a tad older I still like the mystical but I don't collect them much. But I am a sucker for Angels. I am not sure why, I just am! I named a dog I had once Angel (in truth she probably should have been Lucifer, she was bad, bad and more bad) I think if you can have mental illness in humans you can in animals also. This dog was crazy but I loved her and one day she snapped literally and my husband had to bring her to the vet to go to doggie heaven. On our 5th Anniversary. That was a sad day in my life. Anyways that year my mother (whom I don't like to name LOL) she was in Vegas for Christmas and brought me back this little Rottweiler doggie with wings. And my Angel was a Rottie and now she had her wings. It choked me up something fierce even to this day that little ornament was the best present that I got. How stupid is that? Don't tell my mother she always buys me socks and underwear for Christmas...My stepdad God Bless his little German tight ass goes out and gets my sister and I a bottle of bubble bath and tapes a Hundie on the front....LOVE IT...so I look forward to that, then I go out and spend it on everybody but me...too funny... maybe this year I will actually buy myself something. Steve got 33 dollars from his parents this year WOWZA they wrote in the card don't spend it all in one place. bout pissed myself with mirth that wouldn't even fill his truck up with a tank of gas. But I remember as a little kid getting a dollar and thinkin I won the effin lottery and my grandma saying the same thing but I could actually buy a candy bar and have change for another one a different day. amazing. But I can still get my kid to shovel for a quarter lucky for him I ain't a tight wad I have him a $5. My husband on the other hand will go Hey anyone wanna make a quarter and no one answers Yeah I wanna bust my ass for a quarter...I got some papers to write to carry on..........

Blizzard Anyone?

Well if you live in southern Minnesota you will know then tomorrow they are predicting a blizzard. Oh how I hate Minnesota..(really I do!) Yes 6 inches of snow might not seem like a lot to a person but add that with oh say 50 mile an hour wind and we have a major ass BIG snow globe going on!! Anywho tomorrow is my 5 class day and well I live 40 miles from campus and well if I lookie out my window at 5 am and see that it is lookin a lot like Christmas....I am haulin my ass back to bed! Speaking of which where in the hell did Thanksgiving go? I am so sick of Christmas! Yeah call me anti-social...Hell If I believed in it I would convert to Jehovahs Witness because I hate holidays so much! I feel bad for my kids, they are lucky if I get a tree....me HATE THE HOLIDAYS... so you won't be gettin a Christmas card of me thank you very much! Just kidding I will stoop to give those a card that have sent me one first. Hell at 37 cents a stamp plus the card and energy to write Merry Christmas from blah, blah, blah and blah....who cares they just get ditched in the garbage anyways....wanna know what I really dislike.........BRAG letters or should I say poopie letters...I received one last year and it was the worst kind you can imagine. The 'lady' wrote about gall bladder surgery and a hernia and some other uncomfortable illness but then at the end said they were blessed, what in the hell is that? I digress...I don't dig the holidays and this year is really bad because I am majorally broke and my kids want want want and I can't can't can't............

Clown anyone....

NOW...

I really must be sick...this shit just cracks me up...I am twisted...

So last nite my oldest broke his nose...at church...and no I can't make this shit up...and I send him to school because the doctor wouldn't do nothing anyways and then the nurse calls...in her ever so superior tone...so you say he did this at church right? And I am thinking no bitch I beat my kid up right before he ate his lucky charms for breakfast. I swear when you marry your cousin around here you really shouldn't be populating!! And I am angry and upset so I pick up the kid because apparently he is causing a disturbance with his looks and I am looking at the nurse thinking Mother Nature gave her a case of the fuglies don't be taking it out on my kid. I dunno can kids have bizarre accidents with out the parent being accused of the mommy dearest act?

And to top that all off my youngest was sick today and I suppose now I am locking her in her room beating her with wire hangers too....WHY WHY WHY WHY............

Today was really one of those days that I craved, yearned, dreamed of smokin in the boys room...

I can taste it...smell it....I don't care if I smell like a big butt or ashtray....sigh....was only the thought of dying that prevented me from lighten up.........Have a nice weekend people and hopefully will see you bright eyed and bushy tailed on Monday...how come Monday sounds so much like Mundane.....??

Stop Clownin Around

My friend says she don't likey the clowns so THat really means she wanna see way more fugly clowns. Ironically my daughter is sick too...go figure with this damn weather and all these kids with spigots of snot AKA noses running. ICKY. I will have to take tomorrow off of school to be with her (my turn) Steve took off the last time so I wouldn't miss class. Sucks to be me...my daughter is an ornery whiney patient (hmmm reminds me of her daddy-o) and if I gave a bell she would use it, yes she would! She is sad though that she is missing school...what 7 year old loves school? I ask if she is on drugs she laughs and says MOOMMMMMMMM like I am the one sniffin pine sol. My son does the same thing. He is almost 12 they act like I am a dunder head I was that age too once..........what the hell was I just dropped outta the sky? THey think so.....silly wabbit tricks are for kids

Clowns freak me out

Wouldn't you want this lil critter doin your kids birthday party?? Twisted I know...I read a book on Gacy and that was just wrong...then another book came out about a college student that befriended him in prison now that shit will scare the daylights outta anyone!
I have gotten a little behind on my journals so I need one more this week to get caught up. Solly bout that LEE...just too much to do and so little time!!
I had an asthma attack on campus today and didn't have my inhaler that was pretty stimulating. After the coughing for bout 20 minutes straight I decided to call it a day and went home. I had to miss my night class. I quit smoking in August in hopes that I would be able to breath better but so far....NADA...makes me a little worried need to go get that checked out. SMOKING IS BAD>>>>>>>>>>>BAD>>>>>>>>
Like nobody knows that......I am not one of those ex smokers that becomes a dick. I know it is hard to stop and it is super easy to start again once you stop so for whom ever that has...YOU GO...and if you have never but are still critical it is like that old saying bout throwing stones and the glass house and all that jazz.......anyways I am going to go rot my brain with a movie called the Devils Rejects......

Apparently you can't publish GOOD blogs because I just tried and it erased the whole damn thing....stupid blogland....Anywho This weekend was okay...I spent Saturday with my mother and I am still alive and yesterday I wrote 4 papers....yes that is write FOUR....Vier....Quatro....it still translates to a lot of papers to be written in one day, but I did it and I am still here....Steve and I didn't get into one fight the whole weekend...simply amazing and my kids were actually quite good...considering....all in all we had a great weekend....miracles never cease....I am hoping that this weekend was an introduction to a great week that would be good! I have 2 tests and 1 major paper due this week...so I need all the help I can get...................

It's Friday...Again

Yeah do that why don't ya'...it's Friday again people. Another week down the drain, wondering to myself what I have accomplished all week. I won't answer that because other than school not much! And Monday I didn't even go. Tomorrow I get to spend ALL DAY WITH MY MOTHER...now that should be loads and loads of fun. Listening to my kids whine and my mother well just being my mother. WOOOOOHOOOOO. My house is almost done though with the unpacking and putting away. There is only so much I can do, so I have been limiting myself to what ever I feel like doing. This week unfortunately not much. Slowly but surely. Well people have fun and have a nice weekend!!

Another Wednesday

Have I told ewe's yet that I AM NOT A MORNING person? I don't like the cold, and I don't drink coffee...so i think I am just basically screwed all around. This morning I would just love to go back to bed (I have a heater blanket) and snuggle myself with my dog, and go back to sleep....HAHAHHAHAAHAHa...today is my 5 class day....maybe that is why I am starting to loathe Wednesdays too......Peace out...have a happy Hump day people of Blogland!

Trick or Treat

So we did the trick or treat thingy with our daughter last nite (son went with his 'goulish' friends instead of the family...we aren't cool enough for him anymore). I was amazed, some people actually opened the door looking surprised that they had a visitor and I am thinking to myself "self: they have the light on and halloween shit in their yard" DOH...I guess that is a Minnesota thing. They made a haul with the candy, should make our family dentist super pleased.
I have a paper due. Yeah, I need 8 pages and I have 1 line done. I am drawing a complete blank with what I need to do. I have asked the teacher 2 times already and I am thinking she thinks I am stupid or sump. I dunno I just had too much going on all at once and now that it has slowed down I need to get this paper done and don't know how to start the damn thing.